I gained weight.
Not just a few extra pounds or a tiny belly pudge after one too many desserts.
I’m officially what people call a “thick girl”.
I wouldn’t exactly call myself overweight but I will say I have gained enough weight to call myself a curvy momma.
And guess how I feel about it?
I love it.
I love the extra weight that I have gained in the past month and a half.
Call me crazy, but I do.
Most people would be mad at their selves for putting on more pounds. Most people would experiment with various diets, fasting methods or extreme exercises for weight loss instead of celebrating their weight gain.
Not many mothers can say they are happy with their size or weight. There isn’t a week that goes by where I don’t hear a woman who has complained about being over weight or not loving the shape of her body.
Thick, chubby, fat, fluffy, overweight, big, round, curvy, whatever you want to call it.
I call it beautiful.
I call it imperfectly perfect.
I call it life.
How did I gain so much weight in a month and a half?
Let me explain.
I’ve always been a slender woman averaging at about 140 pounds at 5’7 inches tall.
For the past year and a half I have been on a strict vegan diet, eating absolutely no dairy, meats or anything that contained animal products. I had my reasons why I went vegan and I will explain why and my experience with living the vegan lifestyle in a future blog post.
There was a point where I lost so much weight I was a thin as I have ever been in my adult life. I remember weighing myself on the scale and reading the numbers 126.
I was 126 pounds.
This was just a couple of months ago right before moving into our new home. I knew I had lost a ton of weight because I recalled weighing 135 pounds when I was thirteen years old after being weighed for our annual physical exams in the eight grade. And here I was, a mother of two at the age of 28, weighing almost ten pounds lighter than I weighed in eighth grade (which was almost 15 years ago).
Not to mention I had lost all of the fat in my butt and officially had no booty. I wasn’t exactly upset about it but it wasn’t something I was entirely proud of. In this day and age, having a round and in shape behind is attractive and I definitely did not feel attractive without any junk in my trunk.
Fast forward to after we moved into our new home. My husband and I celebrated everyday for a month straight. I quit my strict vegan diet and I began eating foods I resisted for over a year and a half. I’m talking about sugar, meats, dairy and everything else in between. I devoured pizzas with actual cheese on them, inhaled sweets and desserts of all shapes and sizes, enjoyed wine with every dinner, indulged in carbs and pasta galore. I basically ate everything in sight and everything my heart ever wanted. I did not hold back. It was as if my taste buds were imprisoned for a year and a half and were finally allowed a conjugal visit to all of the foods it ever craved and boy, did they take full advantage of it.
Picture how it is when you go through the dreaded annual holiday weight gain because there is just so much food and festivities to go around. Well, that was what happened when we moved into our new home. We had a large housewarming party with loads of friends and family on weekend. On top of that I threw a massive book release celebration for publishing my first book Balancing Finances On One Income As A Stay At Home Mom. There were just so many good things that were happening in my life that I could actually say I gained what people call “happy weight”.
Happy weight (also known as relationship weight gain) is when you are happy in a relationship and gain weight when you are in love. I’m not sure if this is a fact or true but I sure was happy and have always been in love with my husband but now I was just even more in love with life.
Fast-forward a little more to after living in my new home for about a month and a half.
I noticed my body had changed.
The first thing I noticed was that I had more “junk in the trunk”, as people would say.
My husband LOVED it.
But he always said he loved me when my body held it’s curves.
He simply couldn’t take his eyes and hands off me when I was pregnant and even after the baby when I had my post partum weight.
Looking in the mirror my face looked rounder, I had a slight double chin, and I definitely gained a little bit of a belly. Love handles, thicker thighs and larger arms were all included in the package as well.
I realized I wasn’t just simply bloated from a large meal.
I had gained weight and I didn’t even realize I it as I was gaining it.
I finally weighed myself on the scale. I was 162 pounds! I gained just under 20 pounds in just a short amount of time. A month and a half to be exact.
I was astonished to say the least.
I could have been sad or depressed but oddly enough, I was content.
I was astonished yet content.
I knew I was healthy because I just had a doctor’s appointment with my annual labs done and my test results returned normal. No high blood pressure, no diabetes. My husband wasn’t complaining about my weight gain, but instead encouraged me that I still looked beautiful. And I gained my booty back, which was a large plus for me.
I looked different. I didn’t look like a young girl with a teenage body anymore. I had a body of a woman. And I decided I would embrace my curves and accept my weight gain for exactly what it was.
I decided to ignore the scale or whether or not my clothes fit anymore.
I wanted to love my love handles back, rejoice in having thick thunder thighs, celebrate my extra pounds gained and make being curvy look fabulous.
Gaining weight and losing weight is not impossible to do at any time. Someone who is overweight can lose weight and someone who is under weight can gain weight. It might not be easy but it can be done. It just takes effort and determination.
Whatever reason why you have gained weight, whether it’s the “Freshman 15” of college, post partum weight gain from after having a baby, weight gain because of illness or injury, weight gain because of drastic life changes, hormonal issues or prescription side effects; my best advise to you is to love yourself.
Love yourself through your body changes, and your weight fluctuations.
Life is imperfect.
Life is all about the ebb and flow, the yin and yang, the ups and downs.
Gaining is growth and losing is removal of what is old.
And I’m okay with that.
Right now, I have a little more of me to love. More cozy cuddles to give my girls and more curves for my husband to gaze at adoringly every time I walk by.
Perhaps I will lose weight again, going back to where life leads me. Whether it’s back to 145 pounds or elsewhere. As long as I’m healthy and happy, I’m okay with it.
This is another chapter in my life, another journey to embark on. I gained weight after buying a home and publishing my first book and honestly I’m not mad about it at all.
Will I be watching the foods I am eating and incorporating a healthier diet now that my house high is slowly dissipating? Yes. But I’m also going to be gentle on myself and not punish my body for something it did not do wrong. I’m not going to go into depression or allow myself to have anxiety over my weight gain because I know that I love me and nothing will change if I feel terrible about myself.
It all starts with loving yourself first.
Embracing yourself and accepting yourself.
Then gently guiding yourself back on the right track.
I want to be an example to my little girls that it is okay to love yourself no matter what. If my girls were to grow up and one day battle with feeling insecure about their shape or size, I would, first off, reassure my girls that they are gorgeous just the way they are.
I wouldn’t want to tear them down or belittle them.
I would boost up their self-esteem. And then if they persisted to want to lose weight- I would assist them in a gentle, loving, manner of transitioning into fresh lifestyle habits and meal choices.
If I would do that for the ones that I love then why wouldn’t I do that for myself?
If I truly love myself, I should be able to treat myself with just as much compassion and tender care as I would for anyone else.
And that is exactly what I am doing.
I’ll be talking more about my weight gain and transitioning back to my average weight in future blog posts.
I do not want to be an advocate for unhealthy, destructive behavior when it comes to weight gain or loss. My topic for discussion for today does not mean that it is okay to binge on unhealthy foods and allow yourself to become overweight and ill.
I do not want that for you.
Living healthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually is always going to be my focus in life. But what I’m saying is that it is okay to love yourself whole-heartedly through your transitioning periods, through your weight fluctuations, through your ebb and flows.
I recently recorded a video of me chatting in the backyard of my new house while my little ones play in the pool off to the side. It was a beautiful day and I talked a little about my experience in buying my home in the real estate market of 2018. In the video, I was at the top of my weight gain, so if you watch it, you will see the difference in my weight compared to my previous videos.
I may have gained weight but I am still happy. I love myself and I refuse for anything or anyone to make me feel insecure or sad about it, even if it’s from myself.
Can you relate? Have you gained weight recently? Or have you always had a few extra pounds to love? How do you feel about your size and weight on the scale? Do you embrace it lovingly or have you battled with negative feelings about it? It’s okay to be honest, we are here to support and uplift one another. Leave your comments below, let’s chat!